Bound Feet & Western Dress: A Memoir by Pang-Mei Natasha Chang

“When I was in college I envied those Chinese who associated primarily among themselves, speaking Chinese to one another and hanging around in a large group. They always looked so comfortable. Whereas, whenever I was with other Chinese, I could not help but feel self-concious, concerned as we walked around campus that others would think we were foreigners, outsiders.

"At the same time I could not be with my Western friends and walk by a group of Chinese without wondering what they thought of me. Did they think that I had disdain for my own heritage? I had trouble with everyone. For example, if I walked into a Chinese restaurant and the waiter began speaking in Chinese to me immediately, I felt put upon. But, if he did not speak Chinese with me, I was equally disturbed.” (p. 133)